I was so angry at myself for being so weak.
For all the choices I’ve chosen, the outcome feels bleak I keep arguing with myself and others with no sense of direction, searching for a solution with the ultimate perfection So fuck all the influences that have made me this way.
The hypersexual society that has made me stay in this mixed up limbo, that tells me I should
act like a bimbo and that smart and beauty can never mix.
Shopping is the only way for a girl to get her fix And do you know what? Fuck Kate Moss!
Fuck Kate Moss for saying nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
Fuck her for encouraging young girls to skip meals She’s obviously never had chips and cheese. Girls eat whatever you god damn please.
And fuck the rugby boys, like seriously, fuck the rugby boys.
The ones I know use women as toys. And fuck the lads, lads, lads
who don’t care how girls feel. They’ll make girls think that
they’re a pretty big deal. But they know your soft spots far too well.
They know you’ll be sad, heartbroken and probably listening to Adele.
And fuck the stranger that calls me darling or pet.
Do I look like a dog? Should I go to the vet?
And fuck the girls that think feminism is uncool Are you grateful that you got to go to school? Are you sick of people judging you by your
size? Of men looking at your boobs and not at your
eyes? Then yes you’re a feminist!
Congratulations! Now get off your high horse
and channel your frustrations. But fuck the shite feminists that turn their back on the LGBTQ Fuck them if they don’t turn up at the black marches
because they’re too busy pointing and laughing at people in the margins.
And fuck my friend’s boyfriend for calling her a whore.
And fuck her for not seeing she deserves so much more And fuck me! Fuck me for going along with it all
Fuck me for making other women feel small and fuck me for always knowing better, but still going out and buying that fucking designer sweater. And fuck me for turning my back on the morals I chose.
For spending all my money on make up and clothes. And fuck me for doing everything that I resent and fuck me for giving that man the consent to fuck me over, to be in control
to make me feel worthless, one half of one whole.
So here I am- a young woman standing in front of you all,
standing at 5 foot 6inches but feeling pretty small.
I’m asking for a solution to get me out this mess. How can I feel strong without having to undress? How can I start realising
what I’m worth based on something other not just my appearance
and my ability to give birth. I’m so conflicted
and afflicted and restricted by all the things I’m addicted to
The things that make me feel good inside are damaging me and my sense of pride.
Am I allowed to be a feminist and still feminine? Am I still allowed to love the oestrogen that
runs through my veins, my head my heart?
A chemical reaction that feels so much part of me.
And when you look at me, you may not at first see the politics that
run riots in my hand the spirit that drives me round the bend and the passion and anger that fills my bones and my voice
but trust me deep down, I know I deserve just as much as the boys.
Thanks! Give it up for
Leyla Josephine!